WTF MATE?

So yesterday at like...10pm I'm writing away to Kenny, who already returned to JHU and who has been complaining on how my apartment's kitchen is nasty, when the doorbell rings. I open it, and there stand Helena, Patty and Jason. I think they ranked about dead last in the "Who I expected to ring my doorbell at 10pm" poll. So of course what else could I do but go with them. It had been a good...two three years since I saw any of them. Suyen joined us later. Jason was really right in saying that there should be 5 year high school reunions, cause at like 10-20 everyone's mellowed out. Five years you're still sharp and vindictive and that leads to hilarity. Anyway everyone was required to tell a story or so. Jason did spend a year in Australia, Patty is for all intents and purposes engaged, and Helena spent the year in Russia. Suyen's been on a roller coaster of emotions. Anyway some of them are rather private, so I'll relate Jason's story for laughs.

Jason is at an airport in Australia, when this big man comes into the restroom and starts yelling for everyone to open their bags. It's not a policeman or anything and he's well big, so Jason ignores him because he's afraid he's going to rob him. Anyway the man like screams at him four times and then finally adds, "I'm not going to rob you I just want you to open your bag." So Jason opens his bag really slowly and close to him, says "See nothing in here," then walks out. So he gets about yay far from the restroom, when the big man runs outside and yells "Stop!" Jason runs. And runs and runs outside the airport, through the streets of Sydney I think, and the man is chasing him. He was wearing these weirdo sock shoes, and they fall off in front of him while he is running, so he scoops them up, but now he's running barefoot through the streets of Sydney and avoiding broken glass and crap. Anyway he runs like four five blocks to an intersection, and the man catches up to him. And proceeds to charge into him, throw him into the street and kick him multiple times and spit on him. Basically beat the crap out of poor Jason. And then he grabs Jason by his bag and literally DRAGS him back to the airport. All the while the oh so great Australians are offering the man help like, "You can use my mobile to call the police." Anyway back at the airport it seems someone walked into the female restroom, took this man's wife's purse by reaching over the stall, and emptied it in the men's bathroom. So anyway the police are like "You know what we do with people like you?" And poor Jason's just sitting there saying, "I just ran cause he yelled stop and he looked aggressive!" while this guy is there with his wife the entire time eyeing him. Anyway the man has to catch a flight, and like 4 hours later the police are like, "Well you have 6 dollars, a cellphone you claim is yours, and nothing else, so we guess you didn't take it." The man still thinks he stole it but he has to get on a plane anyway and leave. And that's the story of how Jason almost got arrested in Australia. A funny sidenote is the stories in the Aussie papers of human rights abuses against foreigners who commit crimes in Australia. In fact those were the main headlines of the week during that time, so it didn't make Jason feel any better.

Personally I'd have asked the man's address/phone number and sued the crap out of him for assault, but that's just me.